Today's letter will be a lot more technical than you are used to

Take your time to read and Jot down.

You might have to read it twice and that's fine. I will try and break down the concept in the simplest way possible.

Now this letter could have been titled

"How to stop being unhappy",

"How to beat anxiety" or

"How to navigate your Insecurities"

But I chose "brainwash yourself to be confident" for a reason.

Why? You need to re-condition your mind consciously.

The way we choose to see the world creates the world we see,

sadly the lens in which we see the world has been blurred

Blurred by societal Ideologies and beliefs.

This has shaped your perception of reality.

This perception is why you worry so much.

It is why you feel insecure.

But when you zoom-out, you begin to see the world for what it is.

How you can "zoom-out" is what I am here to point you towards.

But first, let's start with a quote from Alan Watts.

You have been conditioned into mediocrity.

What do I mean by “conditioned”? Think of physical conditioning. In the gym, you build strength through repetition. Over time, with consistent exercises, you gain muscle or endurance.

The same goes for mental conditioning: every thought and belief you reinforce shapes your mindset, whether you notice it or not. Like your body, your mind has no middle ground; it’s either moving toward growth or stagnating.

Small actions and beliefs compound, subtly reinforcing either strength or weakness in your character.

Society’s mental conditioning is the real enemy here, fueling the “chatter in the skull” that Watts describes. It shapes our beliefs, reactions, and worldviews, usually unconsciously.

For this letter, let’s define perception as your understanding of the world and the “lens” as how you see it. This conditioning has blurred that lens.

As a child, your lens was clear. You were curious, bold, open to exploring anything and everything. Unhappiness wasn’t even a concept. But over time, family, culture, and societal expectations began to shape your thinking. That lens fogged up with beliefs and fears that prevent you from seeing things as they are.

Separating being from becoming

Being is simply who you are right now, without judgment or labels. Imagine walking down a road, passing buildings.

Those buildings aren’t stuck in the past—they’re here in the present. In two years, unless torn down, they’ll still be there. The same goes for you: who you are now is what moves forward with you.

But your emotions, worries, and negative thoughts? They don’t last in the same way. They’re temporary, existing only in your mind. They aren’t the reality of who you are.

Who you think you are, however, is often shaped by expectations, beliefs, and societal conditioning.

It’s the character you play in the game of life—your personality, views, and the version of you trying to fit into the world. For many, this “self” is more of a disguise than a truth.

There’s a need to accept who you are now while also guiding who you become. Knowing this difference lets you embrace your being without limiting your potential for growth.

Shaping the Character of Who You Become

To self-transcend, we must self-actualize. Hit the gym, start a business, gain independence, and nurture our mind. In order to self-actualize we must play the game of life. To play the game of life, we need to to create our character consciously. Not through societal conditioning. Through Conscious Conditioning.

Realize that your “character” (who you are becoming) is there to serve you, not control you. Your beliefs are malleable, and your thoughts can be refined at any time.

Each repetition of a positive thought, belief, or action moves you closer to the life you want. This conscious conditioning builds the foundations for real outcomes—money, meaning, health, and fulfillment—by clearing away the conditioned lens and allowing you to create a life closer to your own truth.

With each step in shaping who you’re becoming, you can build a life of purpose and contribute to others. This, according to both ancient and modern teachers, is the distilled meaning of life: to transcend yourself by distilling and sharing what you’ve learned.

How To Consciously Condition Yourself

Through conscious conditioning, you create your own lens and you begin to live a life of your own design filled with metrics you set for yourself. This process should become an habit, as it will help you walk down the path of genuine happiness and fulfillment in the long run.

This is the 6 step process:

1) Pause

When a thought comes to your mind, before it becomes an emotion that then leads to a reaction, pause. Identify the thought for what it is.

The easiest way to do this is to immediately focus on anchor points in your body. Your breath is one of those anchor points. Focus on how you breathe and begin to dissect that thought using the next step in the process.

2) Ask Questions

Ask yourself, why am i getting this thought? Is this thinking original to me or have I seen/heard it somewhere? You would be suprised the amount of thoughts you get that isn't yours.

3) Objectify It

See the thought for what it is a lifeless object that feeds on your focus for survival. If you don't give it life, it is powerless and can't affect you in anyway.

4) Reframe

Whatever the thought is, convert it from negative to positive.

Failure to feedback.

Guilt to gratitude.

Hate to love.

Fear to excitment

5) Characterize

Associate the situation to an aspirational archetype. For you it could be anyone. For me, it is Jesus Christ. What will Jesus do if he was in this situation? What did he teach.

6) Align Yourself

Ensure that the thinking is in line with the vision you have for yourself. If it isn't, let it go, it doesn't fulfil you in any way

But note, this takes time. If you read to this point, your mind is open to the fact that half of your thinking isn't yours.

That's the most crucial step. Surrendering and realizing there is problem that needs to fixed. The process of consciously conditioning your mind is a long term process.

It took your entire life to be culturally conditioned into an unhappy state. It could take year to deprogram the negativity that’s been planted in your head.

That will be all for today.

Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.

~ Tolu

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Goal Update

Now that i think about it, $100k in the next year is a crazy goal, but it has been said and I have to follow through on it.

The past week I have been shooting out cold mails selling our offer at 5th circle and Finally I got someone to discuss what we offer further over a call.

By the time you read this I should have completed the call and hopefully sealed my first client.

You won't get that update until next week.

See you then.