In January, like everyone else, I had my goals for the year. They felt so strong that I was convinced I’d accomplish every one of them. I even started planning my reward—imagining the Rolex I’d get after hitting my $20k-per-month goal. I researched every edition, checked prices, and thought if I had a solid saving strategy, I’d be wearing one by the year’s end.

The first few weeks of January were great. I was grinding, working hard—though, in hindsight, without any clear direction. But it felt like progress.

Then February came, and the enthusiasm dropped. I’d sit down to work but end up watching Netflix instead, telling myself, “I deserve a break.” By March, it got worse. April, June—it was a steady downward spiral.

At some point, I told myself: Tolu, goals are a scam.

This is what happens when we try something we don’t fully understand. We apply shallow knowledge, hit a wall, and then jump to conclusions to cope with our failure.

In my head, I was doing what I was told works—set goals and work toward them, and if you hammer long enough, they’ll come true. But in reality, that’s a shallow approach. Having goals isn’t enough.

There are biological, environmental, and other factors that can block you from doing the work needed to achieve those goals. You can’t eliminate these hindrances, but you can get them to work for you. And you do that by building systems so motivation becomes intrinsic.

When done right, those systems become habits. At that point, work becomes play. And that is what you should aim for.

So today, we’re going to break this down:

1. We’ll dive into the science behind motivation.
2. We’ll highlight the right way to build systems that turn into habits, which ultimately drive you toward your goals.
3. I’ll introduce the (10/30/100) rule for testing and refining your systems so they stick.

Without further ado, let’s dive in.

You’re Doing It Wrong

Setting goals first is like putting the cart before the horse. That won’t work—unless you’re planning to move backward. The problem with setting goals is that it gives you a quick burst of motivation, but it doesn’t last. And that’s because you’re doing it all wrong.

For longer-lasting motivation, you need three key elements: Drive, Grit, and then Goals. They need to be stacked in that order.

• Drive is your emotional motivator. It starts with curiosity, leads to passion, and ultimately becomes your purpose.
• Grit is what people often mistake for motivation. It’s the ability to persist, even when things get tough. But it isn’t motivation itself.
• Your Goal is where you’re headed—the house in the sky, your current “impossible.”

In this letter, we’ll focus on Drive, because it’s the foundation that everything else is built on. It’s the systems you need to put in place that turn into habits, making your biological and environmental obstacles work for you.

The Psychology of Drive

From an evolutionary standpoint, scarcity drives evolution. Any problem that stood in the way of humans getting food, shelter, or safety, evolution has spent millions of years solving.

The solutions come in the form of neural networks in our brains. There are seven major networks:

• Fear
• Lust
• Anger/Rage
• Grief
• Care/Nurture
• Play/Social Engagement
• Seeking/Desire

When you see an attractive person, for example, your brain sends neurochemicals through the Lust network, which releases dopamine—the feel-good chemical that rewards you for taking action to safeguard your survival. In this case, it’s pushing you toward reproduction.

Dopamine motivates you to act. It creates a feedback loop: the more you act, the more dopamine gets released. The more dopamine, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the more motivated you are to act again. It’s a loop that can transcend into other areas of life, including work.

This is why reward chemicals are key to motivation that sticks. To get it, you need to let your biology work for you. By tapping into some of these neural networks, you can trigger a release of dopamine, creating a constant stream of motivation. When you do that, work becomes addictive.

So, where do you even start?

Follow Your Curiosity

Have you ever experienced that joy when you’re reading or researching something you’re genuinely curious about? You could spend hours on it and not feel like time has passed. What you experienced is called Flow, and Flow follows Focus.

You’re able to focus because you’re curious about the subject, which releases dopamine and reduces cognitive load, allowing you to focus harder.

For work to become play, you need to be able to enter the Flow state at will. Curiosity is a trigger that gets you into this state.

Layer on top of curiosity other triggers like passion, purpose, autonomy, and mastery, and you slowly but surely reach a point where work becomes play.

If you’re doing work that doesn’t interest you, it will feel like torture. I know this feeling all too well.

This happens because you’re chasing goals that aren’t yours—goals that aren’t aligned with what you’re passionate about. That needs to change.

Here’s a practical way to make that shift: List 20 things you’re curious about. Be as specific as possible. For example, I’m curious about how business growth ties to personal growth. I’ve noticed that the mental and personal space of the business owner directly affects how successful the business becomes.

Once you have your list, you’ll start to see patterns.

The Passion Recipe

Your passion is at the intersection of one or more things you’re curious about. For me, that curiosity about business and personal growth converges into a passion for helping entrepreneurs—what I call creators—master their minds and adapt to the new way of doing business in the internet age.

Trust me, this clarity didn’t happen overnight. I’ve been asking these questions for years, and it’s only recently that I’ve found answers. So don’t rush it.

Once you have your curiosities listed out, the connections between them will become clearer. That’s where your passion lies.

Talk About Your Passion

When you talk about what you’ve learned, social validation triggers dopamine release through the social engagement network, making you feel good. This is a powerful motivator, and you need it in your routine. So, whenever you discover something new in your area of curiosity or passion, talk about it. Create content around it—write posts, shoot videos, or even just tell a friend. Share your excitement, and you’ll reinforce your drive to keep learning and growing.

Turning Passion into Purpose

Now that you’ve figured out your passion, let’s align it with a purpose that holds deeper meaning. This is where you go beyond surface-level interests and ask: What problem can I solve with my passion? Your purpose should provide value to others. It’s about impact.

For instance, I am passionate about helping creators build sustainable businesses, and my purpose is to empower others with the knowledge and systems to scale their brands.

Purpose takes your passion from being a personal interest to something that leaves a lasting mark on the world.

This adds an extra layer of emotional drives that keep you going without much thought. It gives you are reason to wake up and do what you do.

When these three drivers curiosity, passion and purpose are stacked correctly you begin to operate like an oiled machine. You have clarity on what to do and why you are doing it.

Your body rewards you for doing this work.

What do you do next?

Set a Goal

Now that you’ve stacked all the Flow triggers—curiosity, passion, and purpose—it’s time to translate this into actionable steps. Set a goal around your newfound purpose.

For me, this would be writing a book.

Once you have a goal, break it down into daily actions. How can you get closer to that goal through what you do today, which then accumulates into weekly milestones, monthly wins, and yearly progress?

For me, the daily action would be writing for one hour every day.

The (10/30/100) Rule

You’ve set a goal, but how do you stick to the daily actions long enough for them to become habits?

That’s where the (10/30/100) rule comes in.

It’s simple: Test your daily habit for 10 days. Does it work? If not, adjust and try again for another 10 days. If it sticks, push through for 30 days. After a month, assess whether this routine still fits into your life. If it does, go for 100 days.

The goal is to make your routine feel so natural that it doesn’t even feel like a routine.

For me, writing daily has become second nature. I don’t think about it—when I wake up, I write for an hour or two, no matter what.

That’s why I can consistently write long letters like this one.

Conclusion

Motivation isn’t something you hustle for—it’s something you build through systems that align with your curiosity, passion, and purpose. Set goals, yes—but stack them on top of a foundation that keeps you moving forward naturally. Follow the (10/30/100) rule to test and refine your systems, and soon enough, work won’t feel like work anymore. It’ll feel like play.

At that point, reaching your goals becomes inevitable.

PS. If you are building a personal brand around your passion and you are not sure what path to follow, creative clarity will be of immense help. Its also free so you have nothing to lose.