I was scrolling through YouTube when a video titled Happiness caught my eye.

The thumbnail was catchy, so I clicked on it.

One of the comments on the video had me laughing, but as I kept watching, I realized how accurate it was.

The video gave me a serious wake-up call. It got me asking: How can I truly be happy? Am I going to spend my whole life chasing happiness, only to never really catch it?

The video was funny at first. It showed a rat, running itself ragged, searching for happiness. But here’s the thing: that rat? It’s us. All of us.

It showed how we, as humans, go through life chasing happiness, running down different paths hoping we’ll eventually find it.

First, we think money will do the trick, so we chase that. It often lands us in a 9-to-5 job, doing repetitive tasks we don’t even enjoy.

When we realize that doesn’t bring happiness, we turn to material things. We buy the latest car or splurge on whatever product catches our eye. But still, we aren’t happy.

So, what next? We try to fill the void with alcohol, drugs, or anything that gives us a temporary escape, which can lead to habits and addictions that are hard to break.

For many, the go-to escape is social media. It was for me, too, for a long time (more on that in another letter). We scroll endlessly, looking at others succeed, hitting milestones, cracking jokes—and for a moment, it feels like happiness.

But as soon as we put the phone down, reality hits. We realize we’re not as happy as we thought we were, so we pick it back up, and the cycle continues.

Which leads to this one question:

Here is what I concluded:

Awareness without understanding is useless.

It’s not enough to know something’s wrong.

You need to understand why it’s wrong and, more importantly, what’s driving it.

When it comes to this endless pursuit of happiness, it’s clear that our understanding of happiness is flawed.

Our perception is shaping how we chase it—and it’s leading us down the wrong path.

Let’s change that.

What Is Happiness

Think about it. Have you ever met someone who seems to have everything—money, success, status—but they’re never truly happy? They’re bitter, always looking for ways to bring others down.

And then, there are those who don’t have much at all, yet their presence radiates happiness. They don’t seem bothered by life’s challenges.

The happiest person I’ve ever met is actually a man in a wheelchair. He doesn’t have much, but there’s never a dull moment around him.

These people know something we often overlook.

Happiness isn’t about external achievements or material things. It’s an internal state.

It’s what happens when your past, present, and future are in equilibrium—when there’s no internal conflict, no suffering.

Happiness comes when you stop letting your past define you, avoid reacting negatively to the present, and resist the urge to constantly worry about the future.

It’s easier said than done, I know. Life will always present us with desires and wishes: wishing the past hadn’t happened, wanting something specific in the future.

And we convince ourselves that once these desires are fulfilled, then—and only then—we’ll be happy. But when those desires are met, it never lasts as long as we hope. The high wears off, and another desire springs up.

This is the cycle that traps so many people.

Satisfaction isn't happiness

We often confuse satisfaction with happiness. They’re not the same.

Satisfaction is what you feel when a desire is met—like when you buy your dream car or land that big promotion.

It feels great, but it’s temporary. What you’re feeling is the satisfaction of fulfilling a desire, not true happiness.

The high from satisfaction fades quickly, and before long, a new desire takes its place. If you’re not careful, you’ll spend your entire life in this cycle, constantly chasing satisfaction but never reaching true happiness.

Happiness is deeper than that.

Happiness Is a Skill

By now, we've clarified what happiness is and what it isn’t. Happiness is an internal state. Your past is in the past, you’re grounded in the present, and your future is just that—the future.

But here’s the thing: you can’t completely avoid suffering. Our minds will always wander. We’ll always have desires, worries, and anxieties. It’s part of being human.

However, those feelings of suffering don’t cause unhappiness. It’s our reaction to suffering that does.

The only thing you can control is how you respond to suffering. And mastering that takes practice.

That’s why I see happiness as a skill. You learn to manage your reactions to suffering the same way you would learn any other skill. And with enough practice, you can become a master at it.

Learning To Be Happy

The key to being happy is to become extremely aware of the negative feelings of suffering when they come and be able to see it for what it is without reacting to it.

When a memory from the past comes with its waves of judgements and sadness, sit and feel it for what it is, a memory that doesn't shape who you are now or what you will be in the future.

Here are some practices that would help you with this.

1) Gratitude

When you focus on what you already have and appreciate it deeply, you break the cycle of constant desire.

You stop believing that external things will bring happiness and instead find contentment in the present moment.

One way I apply this is through my daily journal. There's a section where I write down what I’m grateful for.

This simple act helps me stay grounded in the present and prevents my mind from wandering into dissatisfaction.

2) Mindfulness and meditation

I won’t lie—I’m not an expert at meditation. I’ve tried it, and while it works for many, it’s not something I’ve fully embraced yet. However, I’ve begun to master mindfulness.

Mindfulness can be as simple as going for a walk without any distractions—no music, no podcasts. Just you and the world around you.

Listen to your footsteps, the sound of the breeze, the distant hum of traffic, the birds. In those moments, you stop merely looking at the world and start seeing it. It’s an elite feeling that grounds you in the present.

3) Pursue your passions

When you’re on a path that you designed for yourself, you’re happier.

You’re in control of your input, and if you structure things right, your work feels more meaningful and less tied to immediate results.

Instead of working hard just to meet someone else’s expectations, you’re creating from a place of purpose.

This is when you start to see that 2 hours of work on your passion can bring about 10 hours’ worth of results in comparison to what you’d achieve elsewhere.

This doesn’t just make you happy—it makes your life feel aligned with your deeper purpose.

4) Avoid comparison

As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. It’s easy to fall into the trap of looking at others and feeling inadequate or behind. But remember, everyone’s on a different path.

The sooner you stop comparing your journey to others’, the sooner you can focus on what truly matters to you.

To wrap up, remember that Happiness isn’t found by chasing external things; it’s created from within.

By practicing gratitude, staying mindful, pursuing your passions, and avoiding comparison, you can train yourself to live in a state of true happiness.

It’s a skill you can learn—and once you do, you’ll see that happiness has been within you all along.

That will be all for today, enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

~ Tolu